The Perfect Car?

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
09/01/2015 at 13:30 • Filed to: rants and raves, wagons, perfect car

Pictured: me, age 7 (?) with one of the family Darts.

What is the perfect car? Duh, it’s different for everyone. But does that matter? Maybe an amorphous blob (read: 90% of modern SUV/CUVs) with an automatic transmission is actually perfect for most people, because they appreciate features such as reliable starting and a comfortable ride. Maybe an E55 AMG wagon is the perfect car... for everyone who can afford one.

If someone wants a Mercedes but can only afford a CLA, is it their fault? Kind of. They would actually be better off in a Toyota Avalon. But if they love their CLA, then WTF let them drive it. I have a BMW wagon, would a Subaru do the job better and cheaper? That’s debatable, since I buy them WELL used. And at 13 years old, my last BMW didn’t have a quarter of the rust of a 13 year old Subaru. Some would accuse me of badge shopping. No, I just really like how a 3 series drives - who doesn’t?

But despite loving manual transmisson wagons like many fellow jalops, perhaps I’m strange in my vehicular tastes because I’ve loved (*almost) every car I’ve ever had, including those my parents had. We always had 4 or 5 cars in the family, but not because we were rich or my parents were “enthusiasts” but rather, they were parents on a budget with two kids, and being in a rural area, us kids really needed to be able to drive ourselves places. None of the cars were expensive, save for the single new Subaru my mom bought.

In my earlier childhood, my father mostly drove old Dodge Dart wagons, which in hindsight, is the coolest thing ever. But evenutally, safety and reliability probably took precedent over tinkering and nostalgia, and we had a general assortment of normalcy with few exceptions. In the Dart days, my mom had assorted things like an old VW rabbit and a VW Dasher (!) which I had fond memories of, but that’s about it. She apparently had an old Audi but I don’t have memories of that, sadly. I like to imagine that it was a sweet 4000 CS Quattro or something.

So here’s the list of cars that I had a blast driving, starting with the ones I learned on in my pre-license days all those 20 years ago.

1964 Scout - pictured above, just a yard/plow vehicle. The thing was falling apart, and by the time I could reach the pedals the only ones that mattered were clutch and gas. But I had a blast driving it at like, age 12.

1979 Ford F100 - 4 speed manual - my parents still have it

1986 Dodge Caravan - 5 speed manual

1993 Plymouth Voyager - 5 speed manual

1985 Honda Accord - 5 speed manual - this was my mom’s car, then my sister’s first car, and mine

1985 Ford F150 - 4 speed manual - I plowed driveways with this in high school

1994 Dodge Caravan - autotragic - we had this alongside the manual ‘93 and it was very confusing going between the two

1990 Honda Civic - 5 speed manual - this thing was underpowered, but kinda like a big go-kart (that’s how I drove it anyway)

*1996 Honda Civic - autotragic - this was my grandmother’s car, she wanted a manual. Then my sister’s car, she wanted a manual, but hey, free car. No one who drove this car ever really wanted it, but it wouldn’t die because Honda. *Asterisk because I drove it, but never regularly

2000 Subaru Outback - 5 speed manual - my mom acutally bought this car NEW and drove it into the ground. Great car.

Now my own cars:

1996 Honda Accord - 5 speed manual - this was the first car I bought with my own money, in college. I had it for senior year and 4 years after that.

1981 Plymouth Reliant K Wagon. Brown. Amazingly, I don’t have any pictures of this gem. It was my grandmother’s and it had like 30k miles on it in 2004 when I got it. This was far and away the WORST car I have ever driven. Just terrible.

1993 Jeep Cherokee - 5 speed manual, 4 cyl. - great off-road, and that’s all that really mattered for this vehicle. I was living on Maui and it was 100% perfect.

1972 Ford F100 - 3 “on the tree” - still have it, still love it

2001 GMC Yukon Xl - autotragic. But it was a tool for a job, and it did it well. My mom called it “the limo,” I treated it like a truck

2005 Volvo S40 T5 AWD - 6 speed manual - wife’s former car. Fantastic.

2001 BMW 325xi wagon - 5 speed manual

2007 BMW X3 - 6 speed manual - wife’s car, still has it

2003 BMW 325xi wagon - 5 speed manual - current DD

Here’s the thing: I loved driving all of these cars, for different reasons. Okay not the Reliant K, even though it was a sweet brown wagon with front bench seats; I do enjoy things like accelerating, turning, and stopping, none of which were priorities for that thing. But the rest were all great in their own ways. It’s not like I’ve had a series of M cars, 911s and performance benchmarks to drive and I’m spoiled. I have generally driven a bunch of normal, boring cars. But as long as my expectations were in line with what the cars could provide, it was a blast. Actually, one of my favorite vehicles to this day was the 2002 Ford F350 (regular cab, longbed) we had at my previous job, with a V10 and a 6 speed manual.

FWD econobox? Great in the snow, E-brake turns galore. I learned to parallel park from across the street in my Civic, I only wish GoPro and Youtube had been around for me to prove it. Minivans? At least they were manual, and hey what high school student doesn’t appreciate being able to bring all his friends along? 1979 Ford F100? I went to a private college in the northeast where everyone drove A4s and Grand Cherokees. I was the ONLY one with an old pickup truck.

My ‘96 Accord represented true freedom to me, I drove it cross-country more than once, and it never let me down. What’s not to love about that? For me, at the time, it was perfect. Then, so was the suburban when I had that. Different times, different needs (and different fuel budget). And my truck is perfect, too - it’s just not a good ONLY vehicle with 2 kids under 3.

Now that I’m all “responsible” and have a “real job” I can afford nicer cars, so I got what I think is the perfect car, for me. But I didn’t take a big leap and buy something new, I loathe debt, and in the uncertain economy of late, I like to minimize my monthly obligations. I have a family now, 2 kids and a dog. I like to mountain bike and ski, but I also like to drive. A 3-series wagon is just about perfect; it’s fun to drive, safe, reliable, and it meets my gearhead desire to tinker occasionally, because it’s not a Honda. It’s not overly fast, but it’s “fast enough” and it’s killer in the snow, especially with its winter shoes on. It’s not too big, but it fits all my stuff and wears a roof rack proudly year-round.

So there you have it. I don’t buy into the Camry hate. Or the Econobox, Amorphous Blog/CUV/SAV/whatever hate. Or even the Bro-Truck hate (ok maybe a little there). I think cars, generally, are fun to drive, so long as your expectations are realistic, your vehicle does what you need it to do, and you’re not driving absolute crap (*ahem* K *cough).

I DO buy into the disengaged/distracted driver hate, and that’s part of what I’m saying here. Most of us HAVE to drive around a bunch, so why not find a way to make it enjoyable? It doesn’t mean you need a high-performance car. You just need to engage yourself in your responsibility, as a human, to have fun and not endanger others unnecessarily while doing so. One thing that should unite all jalops is the idea of having fun with cars, whatever form they may take.

This is why I’m so disturbed by the disappearance of manual transmissions, because I think they can really wring life out of otherwise ordinary vehicles. I remember driving an automatic version of my mom’s (manual) 2000 Outback and almost getting t-boned because I overestimated my ability to accelerate across a busy road, uphill. But alas, I can’t live in the past forever. But since I don’t really buy anything under 10 years old, I’ve got a lot of years of good manuals left.

Pictured: It comes full circle, doesn’t it? I like to imagine my son, 30 years from now, composing a post on Kinja3000 about how he misses his father’s BMW wagons and those old Combustion Engines, but the unobtanium-powered future is really okay too.

Have fun out there, and enjoy your drive!

DISCUSSION (2)

Takuro Spirit > functionoverfashion
09/04/2015 at 16:44

TL;DR

functionoverfashion > Takuro Spirit
09/04/2015 at 16:57

Lol